Between Loving, Hating, and The Acceptance


It's been quite some time since I last wrote my story about last summer in UK. Actually this post will continue explains my journey not in the UK anymore but the beginning of my life as an employee (which I am not really proud in mentioning). Last time I told you about the "military enlistment", the orientation story still continues.

Approximately two weeks or maybe less, we (the new recruits) headed to the next stage of GPTP recruitment process which took place on Telkom Corporate University. My expectation was: having a fun learning and less constraints. What I mean with less constraints was NO MORE RULES, I could live free as I want like what I did when I was taking LPDP's orientation programme. Once again, I have never been so wrong in my whole life.

During the orientation weeks in Corpu (Telkom Corporate University), nothing has changed from our schedule since Pusdikhub. The greener woke up at 4 everyday, praying in closest mosque, did morning exercise, morning run, took the classes, and so on. At first, I expected that once the classes end at 5 PM, we would have enough time to rest (more than enough, initially). Turned out, although the class has ended, we still have lots more activities including physical exercise at night. We barely sleep under 10 PM which I think the activities after 6 PM was no longer necessary.

To be honest, I felt more stressed and pressured when I was in Corpu. First, I thought I'm going to have lots of fun and less physical activities so I could understand the material and theoretical explanation related to the company. Second, I thought I would have more time to rest or at least more time to work on a project which is important for pre-employment. Third, I thought there would be no more military detention. Fourth, I thought I would find a more comfortable social environment. Once again, I have to learn to lower my expectation because none of them became true.

4B Family

What makes the orientation memorable this time? Perhaps some of the classes that I consider fun and made me involved in a group work more than I had in Pusdikhub. One of the most pleasant class was Digital Sprint which was run by AMOEBA. The class was super fun, we learnt a lot, and it was involving games, collaboration, and let us try new things such as Pitching which I never did before. In addition the class taught us to appreciate everyone's thoughts, nobody is wrong and everybody's getting appreciation. That class has a real positive setback for me (and for my friends).

The next thing, I observed minor changes happened in my environment. Especially when we're given freedom to hold phones during the day and the freedom of interaction unlike in Pusdikhub. Since I was gathered in the middle of 'GREAT PEOPLE', I could learn which has the fiery ambitions and passion, and which are not. Couple of my friends changed as well, some of them got closer and the rest weren't. For example, I have a friend who looks ordinary but turned out a social climber. I could see that during Corpu orientation. That's why I would like to tell you the love-hating part and the acceptance I did back then.

I was assigned in a new class, new environment, I separated with 4B family. I accepted the assignment positively, hoping that I would get more friends and mingle better. I have to admit that I find it quite difficult to adapt in a new situation especially in socialising (even though my friends keep telling me that I'm highly sociable). In my new class, there are too much great people which at the end I cannot keep up with them. First, I don't like when somebody told me what to do. Some individuals in my new class always told me what to do and I find it annoying. Second, I realise that I am weak. My new class was full of strong individuals, therefore they are able to run in fast pace which (again) I couldn't keep it up. Positive side of this fact, I performed a good progress in physical activities (running). Negative side, I was burdened and unhappy.

During the orientation, I couldn't easily tell anyone in my class that I actually feel stressed and pressured. I couldn't easily laugh or relaxing my nerves even though I was in the very back of line. I couldn't easily speak up matters that clouding up my brain and stirring my mood into the worst level of it. A period when I supposed to be happier than I was in Pusdikhub was ruined. I wasn't happier, instead I was occupied by annoyance, angst, disappointment, and hatred.

Thanks God, since we were given the freedom to interact, I could meet individuals who are close to me. I choose to sit beside the people who could make me comfortable and building meaningful discussion or sharing lowkey jokes to keep me bright. I was also grateful for having very nice roommate. My roommate were really amazing and we cooperated really well, I love you guys! Although I have to deal with stressful environment, I could still be happy because of these people who indirectly helpful to me.

Lovable Roommates

Basically the activities that I had done in Corpu were classes, sports, and collaborative games. In three weeks, there were a lot of Telkom introduction especially in business model, values, and portfolio. For me the classes are quite helpful for the greener to understand more about the company. At least we won't be the dumbest person once we officially start working. For some reason the classes were fun because in the end of the session we played games (either Kahoot or Quizziz). The appearance of Kahoot and Quizziz then became a sensation and everyone in GPTP 9 got addicted into it. The quizzes apparently made a great deal in our comprehensive understanding towards the materials given to the class. Since we have to compete to get the greatest score and bring home some gifts, we were also able to relieve stress by creating fun names every time we participate in the quiz. I have won once and never be able to beat Bintang (******) afterwards.

Move on to the competition. I guess, Corpu will never let us rest from our military training since they still asked us to hold a competition related to PBB. Yes, you read it right! We still have to do morning apel, PBB, and another military stuff (especially running) during the orientation which were nastily exhausting. Good thing, my class won the title and we never expected that because we knew that we sucked and I thought that my class was too far from the word "UNITED". What I hate so much from this military stuffs were the detention which was conducted from non-sense reasons for the sake of content (or whatever the fuck you may say). I also hate the fact that we were required to run every time we move in an uneven surface!! I must say to you that I hate running to the core. I keep grunting and saying that this military thingy is irrelevant and has nothing to do with the job I'm going to do later. In the end, I did those nasty detention and activities and then survived. What an astonishing acceptance level of me!

The only competition that made me really happy and satisfied maybe the sports. Since I barely do sports, winning Futsal title made me proud. Furthermore, I just discovered my ability to be a good goalkeeper. Was it just a luck? Whatever it was, I was happy because I was able to defend the goal from the greatest player in GPTP 9. That was fun!

While I felt extremely obnoxious towards my class group, still I found individuals who were really nice. I had a great discussions with these particular people, particularly who were able to cooperate and working in a team. I also had fun when I was assigned in a group to do a Societal Need Orientation. It was a meaningful experience which I have done during the orientation. The member of the group were also easy to cooperate, therefore we did an excellent presentation as the outcome.

Societal Needs Orientation Squad

I also learned to play billiard which I only did in desktop game. My first game was a total failure but it was fun! I learned shooting with an airgun which resulting in satisfying outcome and trials. I was involved in creative divisions and finally able to use Adobe Premiere and After Effect by short-course. To put it simply, I tried things that I wasn't willing to try while I was in Pusdikhub. Even so, Pusdikhub still feels more comfortable than Corpu back then.

Another positive things I got whilst I was in Corpu is get to know with more people. Individuals whom I barely met or interacted in Pusdikhub suddenly appeared like a Pokemon out of nowhere. I discovered new friends, new personality, new groups. I found out that there were some people who became a total pain the head, there was still of groupies and made themselves 'exclusive'. I observed some people who did not really good in socialising. A lot of different personalities but one thing in common: talk more do less. Since almost everyone is great, they barely listen to others opinion. Not all of them but most of them, the rest is quite okay and quite understanding.

Design Thinking Collaborative Group
Well, I also have to admit that three weeks in Corpu plus 38 days in Pusdikhub, that the number of person or actions that I hate was increasing. Moreover, I do think that the daily routine somehow changed our perspective (thankfully, I am not one of them). It is good to have solidarity and strong bond between each other, but that doesn't mean we have the rights to tell our friend for what is wrong or right. Or just telling them what the majority want. Or even deciding on something without asking, transparency, or accountability. At the end of the day, I have to break the authorities once more.

Hence those the ups and downs I had in Corpu, between love and hate for what I choose. Nevertheless, I barely regret the decision I took because it was already chosen by me. Gladly, I could pull my self together and found some people who has similar interest with me. I could learn how to deal with unpleasant situations, I could choose better method to keep my self calm. For every things that happened in my life, I'm so grateful for it. Including the exhausting days in Pusdikhub and Corpu.

Perhaps if I didn't receive the treatment from Pusdikhub and Corpu, I won't have motivation to be the first person in the company and eliminate this orientation. I do think that the treatment I received was irrelevant to work, especially the drama that didn't make any sense at all. To build one's character, you don't need to give military training because personality was built over the years by the environment.

From my experience in Corpu, I learned so many things: to be invisible, to listen more, to not easily triggered, to work harder and try harder, to be firm of our choice, to let go, to have fun, to be ignorant, to focus on what's important, to let the kids take the role, to give people same opportunities. I thought I was ambitious enough but that's nothing compared to these kids. Therefore, I understand that some people chose to leave instead of staying. If they could be happier then why not?






4B 4B 4B Yes!!
A Letter for GPTP IX members:

We are great people and you know for sure who you are. But that doesn't mean we lack of common sense and neglect the existence of somebody else. Perhaps the longer we've been together has put us in highly strong and unbreakable bond. However we don't need to invade privacies especially in meddling in our friends' situation that we don't even know the real reason behind it.

Even though I sound too harsh, I thank you all for being there and gave lessons to me. To keep me down to earth and realise that I have to deal with such great people like you. I thank you for the happiness, the pressure, and the bullshit I have to endure for three weeks. Relax, I only hate some of you. I love you more than the people I hate because my hatred was designed particularly for 0.1% of us. It means, I only hate less than 10 person out of 200 people.

Thank you for made me realise how important to listen. Thank you for teaching me the true definition of being ambitious, loyal, passionate, and dedicated to what you own. Thank you for giving me opportunities to be me inside a tremendously uncomfortable environment. Thank you for supporting me and appreciating me. Thank you for giving me chance to appreciate some of you. You are all precious.

For you who are nice and kind, please keep being nice and kind. For you who are too ambitious, I understand because you haven't seen the world enough. For you who took me as your friend, brace yourself and I hope you won't run away after this. Thanks a lot great people, you guys are rock! See you in couple years and let's see where the flow brought us to be. Our 56 days together was memorable and it made us who we are today!

Comments

  1. These orientation phases, with all of its ups & downs, are done yeayyy!! I sincerely thank you for having me as a friend ya mba Gistaaa ♥
    Please stay on radar & see you at Corpu!

    ReplyDelete
  2. baguss mbak tulisannya, ada bagian yang lucuu wkwkwk. setuju mbak gis, pusdikhub > corpu.

    ReplyDelete

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