Book Review: Tak Mungkin Membuat Semua Orang Senang

Bold and straightforward.

Those two words I usually use to define myself. Sometimes I also define myself as an apathy person. I didn’t really think about what people said about me. All I wanna do is to please myself, be mindful not to cause trouble for others, and trust myself.

Reading this book gave me a sense of validation and what I love the most from the book is the author herself is bold.

I had read a lot of self-improvement books written by Korean author but never once had this strong and bold writing style. The author really describe that it’s okay (and always okay) not to be a people pleaser, to stand for ourself, and to create boundaries that nobody could ever crosses it. The way she write the essays not highlighting her insecurities but her actions and her realisation of her past self. I could tell that she grew a lot and she is confident. She also the kind of person who are strongly against patriarchy and misogynist culture that deeply rooted in Korean society. She spoke up her mind a lot and not worrying of others’ opinion anymore.

It is strange to read a Korean book with such sense of bravery. I mean, as a person who dive into Korean culture, I hear a lot of cases on patriarchal society, insecurities, low self-esteem. Even the books I’ve read before like: I want to die but I want to eat tteokpoki, things you can only see when you slow down, who’s coming at my funeral, loving imperfect things. Most of them highlights on how the author deals with their insecurity in such a low self-esteem way. They need to be depressed to finally bounce back and accepting who they are. The author of this book is different, she already had the fire to stand up for herself since she was young.

The book itself mainly consists of essays on how to deal with harsh criticism, unwanted opinion, or line-crossing behaviour. Mostly I had implemented in my life, so once again reading this book gave me sense of validation that what I have done were right. This book will be helpful for those who seek bravery and advises to speak their mind or dealing with toxic environment. Personally, I also find some essays are helpful because compared to the author, I still have the tendency to be seen as too harsh or too insensitive. Reading this help me find the balance of speaking my mind, standing up for myself, and how to manage unwanted behaviour elegantly.

My favourite part of the book is:

Orang yang berkata, “Aku memang seperti ini” ketika sedang berselisih paham adalah orang-orang yang egois, tidak memiliki empati, dan bisa melukai orang lain. (p. 156 - Cara Mengusir si Pencuri Kepercayaan Diri)

It shows that we can be selfish but cannot be selfish at the same time. We can be a bold and straightforward while we still need to be mindful and not to speak or treat others terribly. We are human after all, we can be angry but we also have to control ourself before we act. And we can change ourself to be a better human. We are not designed to be who we are in a bad way, so we have to adjust ourself not to hurt others.

In conclusion, this book is better compared to other Korean self-improvement series that I have read. The author has a distinct writing style and it mainly advise us to be more confident, mindful, and braver person. It is not cringe-worthy, it doesn’t talk about love too much unlike the other self-improvement book as well. So in addition to your reading list after reading this book, you can also try to read Lovable Lady as a complementary reading. Hopefully, there are more women/individual who are braver, bolder, stronger, and more independent but still lovely. Our life won’t stop just like that though we decided to stand on our both feet only. Cheers~

P.S: So I decided to make myself committed in reducing screen time and started to pick my old habits of reading book again. Starting 2023, I will keep reading a book without much target but I will write what I felt about the book and what kind of things I gained after reading it. And here we go, the first book review of the year.